


Challenge Accepted

by gth694e



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, F/M, M/M, Phil Coulson is a freaking ninja, the Avengers never back down from a challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:10:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2206569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gth694e/pseuds/gth694e
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers accept the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Challenge Accepted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coriolana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coriolana/gifts).



> So I was challenged to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge by a certain peskyredhead who shall remain nameless. While I am more than happy to donate in the name of charity and have done so ($100 as stipulated in this event), I refuse to dump a bucket of ice water on myself. I am a cold blooded creature and don't want to give myself hypothermia. So instead, I wrote her a story in which the Avengers do the challenge.
> 
> Because the Avengers never back down from a challenge.
> 
> Please see the end notes for info on ALS, the challenge, and who I am nominating. :D
> 
> Also thank you, coriolana for the quick beta read, though since this is all your fault you were kinda obligated to do it. All errors are of course my own.

JARVIS became aware of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge the very first time someone nominated an Avenger.

Unsurprisingly the nomination came shortly after the donation campaign was kicked off. It was the second person to post their video to the web. After nominating two people that JARVIS presumed they knew personally, they looked directly at the camera and said, “And I nominate Tony Stark.”

JARVIS did not notify Sir. If he notified Sir every time he was mentioned online, the man would not be able to do anything else but deal with these notifications. So JARVIS did what he usually did; he filed the information away.

But it didn’t stop there. It seemed every fourth person nominated an Avenger. Captain America. Iron Man. The Hulk. These challenges were thrown out along with personal friends and celebrities. As the Avengers donated to more than enough charities, including the ALS Association, JARVIS still didn’t see a need to notify any of the Avengers. Until it reached the point where bloggers and even news agencies started to comment about the Avenger’s silence.

And since JARVIS had protocols in place to notify Agent Coulson about anything before it became a PR nightmare, he decided it was finally time to let them know about the Ice Bucket Challenge.

It was a typical morning where no super-villainy had yet been reported, all of the Avengers gathered around the breakfast table. Captain Rogers flipped through the morning paper, pulling out the funnies section and handing it to Thor. While the god’s attention was turned to the Captain, Agent Romanoff stole one of Thor’s Pop-Tarts, ignoring the healthy toast on her own plate. Agent Barton, who sat next to her, seemed to be sleeping, his head resting directly on the table, while Agent Coulson was currently arguing with Sir and Dr. Banner over whether or not coffee counted as an adequate breakfast food.

It did not, but in all the years JARVIS had been in service he had been unable to convince Sir otherwise.

“Excuse me, Agent Coulson?” JARVIS spoke.

All the Avengers immediately tensed. Even Agent Barton sat up, blinking sleep-filled eyes. Usually JARVIS only interrupted breakfast when the Avengers needed to be assembled and super villainy needed to be stopped. Technically the Avengers still did need to be assembled, simply for a different purpose.

“Yes, JARVIS?” Agent Coulson asked, looking up at the ceiling, even though Agent Coulson was well aware that the servers responsible for hosting the majority of JARVIS’s processes were located seven floors below.

“The Avengers have been nominated for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.”

For a moment no one spoke. Then Sir frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Sir, it is a campaign to raise awareness of and funds for the research of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”

“I thought Avengers funds already go to the ALS Association,” Agent Coulson asked, directing a glance at Sir.

“The Avengers do donate to ALSA among other organizations, Agent Coulson,” JARVIS answered, since he knew Sir wouldn’t know. Ms. Potts was the one who designated where Avengers charitable donations went.

“I don’t understand,” Captain Rogers spoke up. “If we already donate, then what is this challenge?”

“As I said, there is currently a campaign to raise funds and awareness for ALS,” JARVIS said. “This campaign is known as the Ice Bucket Challenge. When the challenge is issued to a person that person must, within 24 hours, either donate $100 or donate $10 but have a bucket of ice cold water poured over their head.”

“And we’ve been nominated for this?” Sir asked.

“The Avengers as a unit have been nominated 10,000 times. Each Avenger alone has been nominated at least 5,000 times with Captain America being nominated 30,000 times and Iron Man/Tony Stark being nominated at least 20,000 times.”

“Captain America has been nominated more than me?” Sir was aghast, while frowns of confusion were still on everyone else’s faces.

“Why are you just now notifying us of this?” Captain Rogers asked, his expression one of puzzlement as he glanced over at Agent Coulson and Sir.

“According to my protocols, there was no reason to notify you until it became a public relations concern.”

“And now it is?” Agent Coulson asked.

“Certain groups are beginning to wonder why the Avengers have not responded to the challenge.”

“Well, notify everyone, JARVIS,” Sir said, with a grin that Ms. Potts often called maniacal. “We’re responding.”

#

Tony’s video was uploaded within the hour.

It showed Tony lounging in his hot tub, wearing a pair of hotrod red officially licensed Iron Man trunks. The man looked directly at the camera and said, “It’s come to my attention that I have been nominated for the ALS Ice Bucket challenge. Apparently in total I have been nominated 25,682 times. Since I missed all of those challenges and didn’t pour a bucket of water on myself, I’m donating 100 dollars for every time I have been nominated.” Tony, always the showman, paused, letting people take that in. “Yep. That’s a grand total of two _million_ five hundred sixty eight thousand and two hundred dollars.”

“I also nominate James Rhodes, Pepper Potts, and Phil Coulson.”

Tony looked off camera. “Alright, Pep, whenever…”

The water came out of nowhere, silencing Tony into a shuddering spluttering mess. “FUCK THAT’S COLD,” he shouted, which JARVIS, of course, bleeped out accordingly.

#

Bruce’s video went up next. When the scientific Avenger finally appeared, he was in his lab, a nervous smile on his face, wearing a labcoat over a purple button up and dress slacks.

“I’m afraid I’m not willing to risk the Ice Bucket Challenge for, ah, medical reasons,” Bruce said with a self-deprecating smile. “However, I am donating $1,000 to ALS research as well as a month of my personal research time to the endeavor. Curing the ailments of the human condition has always been my passion, and in many ways being an Avenger has both opened and closed many doors on that. So if you’re an ALS researcher interested in working with me, please send information on your research to [BruceResearchsALS@gmail.com](mailto:BruceResearchsALS@gmail.com). In a week I will select a person, group, or lab that I will help. Probably with Tony Stark for safety reasons, and for that, I apologize.”

“Hey!” Tony’s voice sounded from off camera.

“In the meantime, I nominate Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts, and Phil Coulson.”

#

Clint and Natasha did their video together. The two stood next to each other, both in bathing suits. Clint was shirtless in a pair of purple shorts while Natasha wore a simple black one-piece.

They each held a bucket, Clint a red one and Natasha a purple one.

Clint looked at the camera with a grin. “Hey guys, this is Hawkeye and Black Widow. Apparently we’ve been nominated for the Ice Bucket Challenge. Now we don’t have the same funds some of the other Avengers may have, but neither of us is destitute any longer. So we’re both donating $1,000 dollars to ALS.

“I would also like to take a moment to say I’m donating an additional $1,000 to Big Brothers/Big Sisters. There was a time in my life where something like that…it could have really turned my life around.” His smile slipped away, and he glanced away from the camera, down into the bucket of icy water. “Not that I regret where I am today but...let’s just say you don’t want to go through the events I had to in order to make it here. There are lots of kids out there who more than anything just need support, you know?” He looked back up at the camera again, his eyes suddenly intense. “Yeah money is nice but what really matters is that people are there for them. So please, I encourage you guys to sign up to become a Big Brother or Big Sister today.”

Clint fell silent and turned to Natasha. “I’m also donating $1,000 to a New York City women’s shelter,” Natasha said. “I know what it’s like to live in fear, to be controlled by the men around you.” Her eyes flashed darkly, her expression turning grim and menacing. “No woman should be left to live in that. And if you are a woman today living in such a situation, I implore you to get help. It is hard. It is terrifying, trust me, I know, but it will be worth it in the end.” She said the last with such conviction, with such belief, that it surprised no one when the next day women’s shelters were filled with women fleeing from their homes for the first time.

Then as suddenly as their expressions had darkened, both Avengers smiled. “And now,” Natasha continued. “We nominate Jasper Sitwell, Maria Hill, and Phil Coulson.”

“Alright, that’s all we have to say,” Clint said. “On the count of three. One…two…” They both threw their buckets of water at each other on two, because they were both dirty cheaters like that.

#

For Thor’s video, they literally filled up Tony’s pool with ice. The video opened with the Asgardian lazily back-stroking through the clinking ice. He reached the edge of the pool, ducked under the surface, and came up with a rush of water that sent the cameraman dodging back a step. “I have been to the Ice Realm of Jotunheim,” the god laughed, slicking his blonde hair back with a grin. “Cold is no challenge to me.

“However it is my understanding that this disease is a challenge to many people of this planet, making their bodies their own enemy. I fear I do not have much in the way of Midgardian money, but my beloved Jane has promised to donate $500 to this organization. I also plan to go back to my people and see if there is any knowledge Asgard might have that could help combat this illness.

“And now I nominate Darcy Lewis, Eric Selvig, and Phil Coulson.”

#

It was by this point that everyone in the world was wondering who the hell Phil Coulson was.

#

It took Steve’s video another few days to go up. The internet quietly muttered to themselves in the background about Captain America’s silence, but no one knew why the Avenger, who usually led the others in charitable work and donations, would hesitate to participate in this challenge.

When the video did go up, it was Steve sitting at a desk. The camera quality was not very good, making many speculate he was simply filming himself with a Stark Pad.

“Hi everyone,” Steve said, his face serious. “It’s taken me a while, but I’m finally addressing the ALS challenge.

“As soon as I heard about it and that I had been challenged, I immediately donated $10,000, but I’m told it doesn’t count if I don’t make a video and that an Ice Bucket should be involved. But…I’m afraid if you were looking forward to seeing me get soaked in water, that’s not going to happen in this video. As you may or may not be aware, I already took an Ice Bucket Challenge…for seventy years.” He smiled, obviously trying to play it off as a joke, but his smile was brittle.

“As for ALS, I’ve been reading up on this disease, and it sounds truly terrible. It would be like if I reverted back to my pre-serum state now, except so much worse. To lose control of your whole body like that.” He shook his head, his eyes going distant.

“I was born with a limited body from the start. It is only through the many sacrifices of my mother and my best friend, Bucky Barnes, that I lived long enough to meet Dr. Erskine and become what I am now. I wish there was some way for me to give this serum to every person who suffers as I did and as people with ALS do. And I know people like Bruce are working hard to make that a reality. I wish I was more scientifically minded and could help, but in the meantime I’m doing what I can for every disease. Letting Dr. Banner borrow some of my blood and donating my money where I can.”

Steve turned his eyes back to the camera, his expression growing intense. “And I hope if you guys know someone who suffers from ALS or AIDS or any number of maladies, that you treat them with love and compassion and recognize no matter what they may look like or how they may be limited, they are still people. Because that was always the worst part of being sickly and small. It was how people treated me different—how they treated me like I wasn’t a real person—and no one should _ever_ be made to feel like they are less.

“ _No one’s_ life is worth any less than anyone else’s.

“And that’s really all I have to say, so I nominate Sam Wilson, Sharon Carter, and Phil Coulson.” He smiled brightly at the camera. “You have to do it eventually, Phil. We’re not going to let you get off easy.”

#

Eventually a video titled “Phil Coulson’s ALS Challenge” was posted to Tony Stark’s YouTube account.

The first scene of the video was obviously from a camera phone that Hawkeye had pointed at himself. “Hey guys,” he said. “So Phil Coulson donated quite a bit of money to ALSA but is refusing to do the ice bucket part. Some of us are trying to fix that. We hope you enjoy.”

The scene then cut to a view of a door that had a bucket of ice water hanging above it, the bucket connected to the doorknob by a string. The door opened, but not far enough to tip the bucket, and an unremarkable middle-aged white man entered the room without even noticing the bucket intended for him.

Tony Stark followed through the door a minute later and swore at the downpour of ice cold water.

The video then switched to show a ceiling vent. The camera zoomed in and Hawkeye waved from inside the vent, pointing at a purple bucket he had with him. The camera zoomed out just in time to show Coulson talking to the beautiful Pepper Potts, both of them walking in the direction of the vent.

When they crossed under the vent, the water poured down, but at slightly the wrong angle, soaking Pepper Potts instead.

“CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU,” she screamed, and the video shut off.

The next scene showed Hawkeye with a Super Soaker water gun. “This is filled with ice cold water,” Hawkeye told the camera. “We’re going to get him this time.”

The camera followed him as he made his way through Avengers Tower and to an office. Inside the office Phil Coulson sat at a desk, arguing on the phone. The moment Clint stepped into the room, Coulson pulled a Taser out of a drawer and set it on his desk. The video ended with Clint backing away slowly.

The video went on and on.

Tony gave a water bucket to DUM-E and then called Coulson to his lab. DUM-E accidentally threw the bucket at Tony instead.

Thor conjured a rain cloud inside, only to have Coulson pull out an umbrella from somewhere in his suit.

Steve and Coulson sparred in the gym, the Widow silently sneaking up on them with a bucket of water, only to have Coulson pull Steve in front of him as a shield just as she threw the bucket.

Multiple attempts from nearly every Avenger, usually ending with someone who wasn’t Coulson soaked to the bone.

Finally, Hawkeye whispered into the camera in the middle of a dark room, the images tinged the green of infrared. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but he’s left me no choice.”

Clint then set the camera on a dresser, showing that they were in the middle of a dark bedroom filled with a king size bed. The blankets were a mess, but the lump on one side made it clear someone was sleeping.

Hawkeye snuck up to the side of the bed where the lump was, his bucket in hand.

Then without any further ado, he dumped the ice cold water on the sleeping man.

The lights flickered on as Phil Coulson sat up, gasping for air, and suddenly there was a gun in hands, pointing at Hawkeye. The Avenger dropped his bucket, hands up, his face a mask of innocence.

The agent dropped his gun, reached out, and yanked the Avenger into the bed. “OH MY GOD, PHIL,” Hawkeye shouted as he hit the soaked sheets. “STOP. IT’S COLD. NO. ACK. NO.”

Phil silenced the Avenger by kissing the ever loving snot out of him.

#

ALS supporters were very unhappy when all the headlines the next day were about Hawkeye’s Coming Out instead of the millions of dollars the Ice Bucket Challenge raised for ALS.

And after that, Pepper Potts never let an Avenger release a video without PR approval first.

**Author's Note:**

> What is ALS? From ALSA.org:
> 
> "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease," is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons reach from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. The progressive degeneration of the motor neurons in ALS eventually leads to their death. When the motor neurons die, the ability of the brain to initiate and control muscle movement is lost. With voluntary muscle action progressively affected, patients in the later stages of the disease may become totally paralyzed.
> 
> A-myo-trophic comes from the Greek language. "A" means no or negative. "Myo" refers to muscle, and "Trophic" means nourishment-"No muscle nourishment." When a muscle has no nourishment, it "atrophies" or wastes away. "Lateral" identifies the areas in a person's spinal cord where portions of the nerve cells that signal and control the muscles are located. As this area degenerates it leads to scarring or hardening ("sclerosis") in the region.
> 
> As motor neurons degenerate, they can no longer send impulses to the muscle fibers that normally result in muscle movement. Early symptoms of ALS often include increasing muscle weakness, especially involving the arms and legs, speech, swallowing or breathing. When muscles no longer receive the messages from the motor neurons that they require to function, the muscles begin to atrophy (become smaller). Limbs begin to look "thinner" as muscle tissue atrophies."
> 
> To donate money to the ALS Association to help find a cure, go to [alsa.org](http://www.alsa.org/) and click [donate!](https://secure2.convio.net/alsa/site/Donation2;jsessionid=98FDDA911BA8AA89212E48C09DB3CA12.app277b?df_id=27420&27420.donation=form1)
> 
> Now, I challenge concertigrossi, misamandry, and kat-har. You can either (a) do the Ice Bucket Challenge as normal or (b) write a fic in which one of the people challenged in this fic accept the Ice Bucket Challenge (so like Sitwell, Maria Hill, Sam Wilson, etc.) Regardless of which option you choose, you must donate and you must do it within 24 hours. So....GO.
> 
> As usual, you guys can find me on [tumblr](http://www.mandyp12.tumblr.com).
> 
> YOU GUYS. Kat-har posted her response to this challenge, in which Sam Wilson takes the plunge, and you should totally check it out. It's called [Big Enough Bucket](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2211672)! GO READ IT NOW!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Big Enough Bucket](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211672) by [Kathar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathar/pseuds/Kathar)
  * [Icy Patriot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2299403) by [concertigrossi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/concertigrossi/pseuds/concertigrossi)




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